Chuggin' along

After a very long absence, I sat down this morning and decided that I needed to stop putting off my life because I was "too tired." I was recently diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. For those who don't know what this is, I have included the definition below,

"Hypothyroidism is a condition in which the thyroid gland does not make enough thyroid hormone."

Having this auto-immune condition at such a young age, makes for a very interesting marriage. To me, Hypothyroidism only happened to "older women," not women in their late 20's. Needless to say that after many months of going to see different doctors for symptoms that to me just meant I was stressed out, I was given the name of an OB-GYN doctor who finally gave me my diagnosis. At this point, I had quit my job, had multiple emotional breakdowns, inability to get pregnant for over a year, gained at least 20 lbs in a matter of two years, had terribly dry skin, I was cold all day and had night sweats, and I was irritable ALL the time!  You could say that I felt like I was going through menopause.

It has been about three months since my diagnosis, and even though I am still working out the kinks of what all of this means, I am not going to let it stop me. I have changed my diet, and even though I sometimes have my slips, I try to be more gentle with myself. Life isnt about being so hard on yourself. Learn what works, try it out, iron it out and keep chuggin' along.

I'm am trying to let things go, not get so wound up about things, and most of all I am listening to my body and it's needs. So far, so good.

For those recently diagnosed, check out "The first year: Hypothyroidism." This book was really helpful in learning about medications, working out, diet changes and restrictions, emotional health and your support group.

When love dies

Disclaimer: I wrote this entry during a while ago during a time when I was caught in the middle of a marriage that seemed to be falling apart.

It has been quite a while since I have blogged and to be honest I don't know why it has taken me two months to write. These past couple of months have been a little rough and I have had no motivation for anything besides doing the day to day tasks on my to do list.  Now you may be wondering why the title of this is what it is especially for a newlywed.  Well, the truth is that I have been thinking a lot about love lately, especially when it comes to people who have been married, dating or living together for quite some time.
I never envisioned myself as married and the only ideas I had about love were very far away and what I imagined it might be like for people from what I had seen in the movies. For example, when Pablo Neruda talks about it so delicately in his poems and how Sandra Cisneros is so honest and raw when she describes her love affairs with Mexican men. My all time favorite that still makes me cry is the the film "An Affair to Remember." It gets me every single time! These poetic ways to describing love are true and I have to say that for the most part I now understand that raw love, the delicate love and the love that makes you cry.  I now understand the heartfelt songs that are sung with such a sweet bitterness to them, the ones that when you sing them you can almost hear the animal inside of you howl from so much love either because you are so happy you found it or because you lost it.

So how does it go from a place where you know someone so well and love them so deeply that one day it just disappears? How do you have that love-hate intensely passionate, rip your hair out because you are so annoyed and yet you can't stop loving them kind of feeling, to the I never want to see you again feeling? Maybe I have it all messed up and it wasnt love to begin with? I by no means believe that I know it all, and this is why I ask. There is an example I would like to use from my own life. Sometimes there are days when my husband and I are just not communicating well with each other. For some reason we are just not getting along and anything we say to each other gets misunderstood and somehow twisted. One of us is left fighting to clarify or fighting because what the other person said is not what the other heard. Now, here is the one thing that makes the difference, both of us might be angry and somehow we find a way to grab the other person tightly and say "I love you." Not just "I love you," but GRRRRR I LOVE YOU! It is one of the hardest things to do and sometimes one of the hardest things to accept when we just finished yelling at each other. This one thing makes all the difference and maybe this one thing will be one thing to hold us together, I don't know. Now, let me just clarify that my husband and I are very happy together and by no means is this a topic about our relationship, but more or less this is me just trying to figure out what happens to couples who decide in the end that it is best to part ways. I am by no means an advocate for couples to stay together because of there are children or because they need to save face in front of others. However, there are circumstances in which sometimes it might be the best option. What I need to understand is why the love dies. This is a huge question and completely unanswerable because there are so many reasons and so many different opinions, but I would love to hear your thoughts because I need help understanding.

Salad face

One thing I love is summer time. How can you not? Bright colors, fun sandals, less clothes, glowing skin and the smell of sunscreen lotion. LOVE IT! All of these things are wonderful when you live in California, however, I live in Massachusetts where instead of looking sexy, I look like a sweaty mess with frizz for hair; not cute! The worse part of it is that people are angry and you are all squished on the train just waiting to get off except that it's the only place you can escape the heat because they have AC.Good thing I have a way to help cure sweaty, gross skin!



"Salad face" is a recipe I found in one of my favorite books by Dian Dincin Buchman. I re-named it because of the cucumber. Like I said, one thing I love about summer is glowing skin all over, but especially on my face because I get to go without make-up for most of the summer. The recipe below is for a wonderful face mask to cure the hot weather blues. It is easy, inexpensive, no use of harsh chemicals AND you can eat the left overs (just don't eat the last two ingredients). So go on, get your Salad face on!

Hot-Weather Cucumber Mask (aka Salad face)

1 ice cube
1 peeled cucumber
1/2 teaspoon of Honey
2 tablespoons of milk (cow's milk)
1/2 tablespoon of powdered milk to thicken the mask (optional)
1/2 teaspoon of witch hazel extract
5 drops of peppermint extract or 2 drops of peppermint oil (either one, not both)*

*you can find peppermint oil and peppermint extract at your local drugstore. Price ranges from $3 to $10.

Steps:
Blend and crush ice cube, cucumber, honey, milk, powdered milk, witch hazel and extract. Pat mask on your face, allow of it to dry for 15 minutes.Wash off with warm water, pat dry. Close pores with ice cold water or your favorite astringent (I prefer witch hazel).

Enjoy and let me know how it goes.

My little black book

One thing that I talk about a lot is the S word. SEX! Yes, I said it, sex, sex , sex, and more sex.

Say it, I promise you will feel better. Much like the word sex, the word vagina is seen as taboo. We all have one, and everyone knows you have one, so why are we so scared of giving it a name? Everyone else does.

Anyway, enough about vagina's. Let's talk about sexual health. One thing that a lot of ladies ask is regarding sex, from how it works, why some women bleed after sex, and what are the advantages of certain birth control methods, etc.

Well, the good news is that there are wonderful resources on the web that answers questions like these. One really cool website is http://www.littleblackbookhealth.org/

This website is mainly for women who are interested in learning about how to prevent pregnancy until they are ready. It covers insurance terminology, frequently asked questions, what your options are, and it contains a plethora of resources if you need a little more information. When you have a moment, check it out. You can also download your own copy for FREE!

Beets, Beets, more BEETS!

I love beets. I love beets in salads, by themselves, and in BURGERS! However, I had never attempted to cook them at home. One Sunday evening as I walked through the grocery store looking for a vegetable to inspire a recipe, I came across THE BEETS. They were gorgeous and covered in dirt as if someone had literally just picked them from the ground. I grabbed the beautiful beets and took them home to make what I call the "Mmmm, I love beets burger" burger.

Now, I didn't just come across a recipe online, oh no, Darian (my husband) found it on one of the best websites for recipes. When you have a chance or you are bored at work, check it out and go to www.thekitchn.com. (no "e" in kitchen).

Okay, enough of me yapping, go buy your beets or pick them from your garden and get cookin'. By the way, these are a great substitute for beef burgers, and I promise that any meat lover will love them even if they say they think it's weird.

Best-Ever Beet and Bean Burgers
Inspired by the veggie burgers at Northstar Cafe in Columbus, Ohio
makes about 6 burgers

1/2 cup brown rice (doubled if you like more rice)
1 onion, diced small
3 large red beets (about 1 pound), diced small
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tablespoons cider vinegar
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
juice from 1/2 lemon
1 Tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 Tablespoons parsley, minced
1 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
salt and pepper
thin slices of provolone or monterey jack cheese (optional)

1. Bring a large amount of water to a boil. Add a handful of salt and the rice, and reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook the rice until it's a little beyond al dente. You want it a little over-cooked, but still firm. This should take about 35-40 minutes. Drain the rice and set it aside.

2. Heat a teaspoon of olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion, reduce the heat to medium, and cook until the onions are translucent and softened. Stir in the beets. Cover the pot and cook until the beets are completely tender, stirring occasionally. Add the garlic and cook until it is fragrant, about 30 seconds. Deglaze the pan using the cider vinegar.

3. Empty the black beans into a large bowl and use a fork to mash them up a bit. Add the cooked rice, the beet and onion mixture, the lemon juice, the olive oil, and all the spices. Stir to combine and then taste for seasonings. Add salt and pepper to taste. Once it tastes the way you like it, add the flour and stir until you see no more dry flour.

4. Heat a cast-iron skillet over the highest heat. Add a few tablespoons of olive oil - the oil should completely coat the bottom of the pan. When you see the oil shimmer and it flows easily, the pan is ready.

5. Using your hands, scoop up about a cup of the burger mixture and shape it into a patty between your palms. Set it in the pan, where it should begin to sizzle immediately. (If it doesn't sizzle, wait a minute or two before cooking the rest of the burgers.) Shape and add as many more patties as will fit in your pan. Once all the patties are in the pan, reduce the heat to medium-high.

6. Cook the patties for 2 minutes, then flip them to the other side. You should see a nice crust on the cooked side. If they break apart a little when you flipped them, just reshape them with the spatula - they'll hold together once the second side is cooked. If you're adding cheese, lay a slice over the burgers now. Cook the second side for another 2 minutes.

7. Serve the veggie burgers on soft burger buns or lightly toasted sandwich bread along with some fresh greens.

8. Cooked burgers should be eaten that same day. You can also save leftover mix in the fridge for up to a week and cook just one or two burgers as you want them.

Don't let the tomatoes die.

It has taken me a long time to get this blog going and to figure out whether or not other women could benefit from it.

The idea was born while I was in my second year in grad school. Conversations I had with friends and random strangers ran the gamut. From how to organize a kitchen, to what are the side effects of certain birth control. I decided that something needed to be done; but what? What can I do to help these women and how do I provide the resources they need to answer these questions? How can I use my talent and expertise to help women answer these questions?


Months and months went by, and finally one day after sitting with one of my favorite professor's and artist, Elena Stone, I realized that I had allowed myself to be consumed by the everyday. I had forgotten my creativity (I use creativity loosely because it means so many different things for me). I was stuck in a rut because I was so focused on being married, working and being in school full time. After six months of journey-ing with Elena I realized that this idea for a blog was not going to let me go. I had not talked to my husband about it at all and it was killing me not to tell him, but I was too ashamed because I had stopped nursing my love for art, gardening, music, etc. I didn't want to be seen as a fake, even though I knew that what I was missing and what I wanted back was real.
During this journey, I talked to my friend Greg who restores old bikes for a small community and works in a community garden in Ohio. He basically told me one thing that has stuck with me since then. He said, "Jenn, your garden is dying because you are not nurturing it (literally and figuratively) (at this point in time I had just started my garden and I was not seeing results). He said, "Jenn you need to get out of this craziness you call life and get back to the basics. Don't let your tomatoes die."
 Okay, so you might be thinking, "what the heck does that mean?"  The point is that to him, my life is the garden and my tomatoes are the fruit I bear in my life, whether that is following my dreams in Boston or following my dreams in Kenya or Costa Rica.
That was when I knew that my life, even though it is beautiful and blessed, was missing something. It was missing me and my artistic flair.

Approximately one year or so later around 3am while I was semi-asleep, I had a revelation in my dreams. I rolled over in bed and looked at my husband and said, "I need to start a blog on tips and recipes for women, and I need to have a section on hang-overs!" He was half asleep too, but being the supportive husband that he is, he said, "absolutely, my love! you need to do it!" we both rolled back over and fell back asleep.


So, this is it! This blog is a chance for me to share my thoughts on certain health concerns, share tips on my love for organizing and cleaning, share pictures of my small garden, recipe ideas I am trying or dying to try, and share tips on eliminating toxic beauty items from your bathroom by making your own! (my new project)

Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions.  I look forward to sharing this journey with you that has taken me so long to start. This is for all the women in my life; for those who ask questions and for those who are making a difference in women's lives by having conversations and by supporting each other in the journey to self discovery and creativity.


Thank you for sharing this journey with me.